now that im in the space mood i’d like to remind each and every one of you that NASA drew a dick on mars. we drew a dick on another planet. that is mankind’s legacy.
THIS IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE SURFACE OF MARS. PLEASE NEVER FORGET THIS.
This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight
i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight” all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like
*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*
just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…” she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill” im like “im just playing”
she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it
i get a good look i see this in her hand
im in the couch like
she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine
she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me
some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”
im like “ma’am help my arms tired”
she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help” and walked into her apt
then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running
she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day
i’ve never re-blogged something so quick in my life.
I fuckin love tumblr stories
this post is the only one that has 12 million notes and it changes all the time. the flubber robin williams, the rogerina, the “reblog if you dont have a tumblr” and the dean winchester gym shorts is literally all the same post and you guys are astonished that it has so many notes every time a new version of it comes around
this urn will turn you into a tree after you die
and you can choose what kind of tree you want to become
just imagine cemeteries looking like this
life after death
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTthis is how all cemeteries should look. its awkward to hug a gravestone. imagine hugging your grandma/tree. ugh rebuild all cemeteries